Monthly archive for October2014 - page 2

You know…vicissitudes… the changes or variations occurring in the course of life.  Well, are you?  I’m not.  But if you are, maybe you’d like to consider a virtual presence device.  Like this:

Don’t laugh.  I mean, yes, laugh becasue that’s supposed to be funny.  But don’t laugh at this – apparently this is becoming a thing – see this article at PC Mag.  The geeks are the ones who decide what becomes a thing and what doesn’t.  And the Geeks are telling us This Will Be a Thing!   Meh.  Might not be so bad.  Harder to catch Ebola, I suppose.  But it will probably lead to something like this:

Now can you tell me just how in the heck that thing is supposed to get in and out of the litter box?

….Ms. Lewisnsky“.  Poor thing.  Hasn’t she been humiliated enough already?

Yes, Monica Lewinsky has emerged from her self-imposed exile in what appears to be an attempt to rehabilitate her image.  She has recently published an article in Vanity Fair magazine, and given a speech to young entrepeneurs at the Forbes 30 under 30 Summit, staking a claim on victimhood over the entire…*ahem*…affair.  Don’t get me wrong;  I have a certain amount of sympathy for her inasmuch as I believe she was a naive young woman, was used and discarded by a powerful man.  I mean, she says she was “in love” with The President and thought they had a shot a being together.  All I can say about that is either she was (is?) extremely naive, perhaps dangerously so, or Clinton really laid it on thick to get what he wanted.  I mean, c’mon.  Hillary’s just going to fade away so Monica can have Bill all to herself?  Not likely.  Monica would end up in Fort Marcy Park before that would happen.  In the context of those events, yes, she was victimized.  But she doesn’t acknowledge that victimization.  She claims she was victimized by…The Internet.  And Matt Drudge.  And Ken Starr.  What about Bill?  I LOVED him…so he’s blameless.  Except, he’s not.  He’s the only one to blame.  Stroll down memory lane, if you will, courtesy of The Other McCain.  If your memory of how events unfolded is foggy, a Robert Stacy McCain slap upside your head will bring things into focus.

Yes, this as an attempt at image rehabilitation with a twist.  By that I mean that I’m not so sure that this whole image rehabilitation was her idea.  Could this have anything to do with the resurgent Clinton Political Dynasty?  Is Hillary clearing the scandal spindle?  Hmmm…let’s think for a minute.  Cui Bono?  Who does this help?  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if there was a little bird (winged monkey?) whispering in Monica’s ear.  I mean, why now?  And why cast the blame everywhere except where it truly belongs – on the shoulders of William Jefferson Clinton?

Monica: “Something something it’s not Bill’s fault!  I still love you, Bill! wink wink”.

Who thinks that’s a good idea?  Nobody sane, that’s who.  And so I don’t think the victimization of Monica Lewinsky is over.  He used her once, he’s gonna use her again.  War on Women, indeed.

Huh Wha…..?  The Earth’s magnetic poles could reverse?  And sooner than we thought?  To the barricades! Break out the survival gear!

Freeze dride food? Check.  

Ammo? Check.  

Gas for the generator? Check.  

Big pile of gold bars? …….Dammit!

According to the fear mongers at Popular Science we are due for a reversal of the earth’s magnetic poles, the most recent of which was about 780,000 years ago.  The next one had not been expected to occur  for another million years or so, but now they say it could happen sooner than we thought!  I blame Obama.

Up until now, I was under the impression that our impending doom would arrive via the Robot Revolution.  Either that or  the Higgs Boson Doomsday, which we shouldn’t worry about because of it’s instantaneous nature.  Now we’re forced to sit and wait in horrible anticipation of yet another doom that may not come for two or three millenia.  That’s a long wait!  According to the article we can expect…hang on a sec, lemme find it….we can expect…

“Scientists haven’t found any evidence that previous reversals caused any major damage to inhabitants of the earth.”

Oh.  OK then.  Never Mind.

Yessss!

Guy plays the national anthem with a rifle.  A Ruger 10/22 to be exact, which I had previously only suspected was the most versatile of firearms.  Now I  am convinced of that fact.  If you have a hammer, a crescent wrench, two screwdrivers (phillips and common), a roll of duct tape and a Ruger 10/22 (with ammo) you can accomplish just about anything.

The tempo is a little suspect, but with some more practice and better target placement I’m sure that can be improved.

Hat Tip:  Ace of Spades HQ

Of course, it happened in Japan:

Tokyo Cops Bust School Girl Sniff Parlor

I’m still trying to decide if that’s for real or if it’s a hoax.  If it’s a hoax, someone put a lot of time into it.  Since truth is often stranger than fiction, I guess there’s a good chance it’s true.  On second thought, it’s Japan.  So it’s gotta be true.

Now this:

Once I start Beatle-ing I can’t stop.  So three more songs for you of the non-obscure variety, timeless and especially meanigful to me (and I hope you, too!).  Enjoy!

In my life, I get by with a little help from my friends eight days a week.

Here are a few un-deconstructed Beatles tunes.  I mean re-constructed.  Wait.  Constructed?  Skip it.  These are just a few of my favorite (and hopefully more obscure) Beatles tunes.

Tell me what you see.

Think for yourself.

And your bird can sing!

Tell me you’ve seen seven wonders indeed.  Now you’ve heard three.

As in deconstructing the Beatles.  This is a little about the music and a little about how it is was made, that is, performed and recorded.  Or at least how it was done in “the olden days”.  Here is a YouTube video that breaks down Sgt. Pepper’s Lonley Heart’s Club Band into the 4 tracks it was recorded on.  Yep, the analog tape machines of the day only recorded on 4 tracks, so the engineers had to get a little creative.  George Martin who produced and/or engineered many Beatles recordings is considered an early master at fitting everything onto the 4 available tracks, a practice known as “ping-ponging”.

Interesting, no?  I think it holds up well strictly as an instrumental.  And the harmonies seem all the more…harmonious when you hear them a capella.  Anyway, lots of Deconstructing The Beatles videos at YouTube if you’re interested.

Our Universities are asking the important questions.  Question is, are they asking the right people?

On a daily basis, studies are undertaken at our Institutions of Higher Learning so that we may better understand our puzzling existence.  These are all likely funded by our tax dollars, or at least by tuitions.  Today’s example comes to us courtesy of the University of Rochester in New York.  The study reveals that “Sex Over Food Is The Clear Choice For Some Males”.  OK.  At first glance I see that it does say some males, so  I guess that we’re not all sex crazed lunatics, or at least some of us would rather not…err…procreate on an empty stomach.  Let me look a little deeper into this study…oh…wait.  The males in question happen to be male Nematodes.  Nematodes are worms.  Worms.  That’s a cold shot.  They had to play the invertebrate card – insert spineless male joke here.  They could have at least studied Chimps or something.  Or a mammal of some kind.  Is that too much to ask?  So our basis of understanding the male of the human species is derived from the study of worm brains.  Close enough, I guess.  I suppose there are some days when I would lose a chess match with a nematode.  One of the smarter ones, sure.  But still.

What about women?  Did we study any female nematodes to find out if they would rather eat or…you know?  Apparently some research has been done on this.  For the result we turn to the lexicon of knowledge known as Glamour Magazine for a report on a poll done by Today.com and Match.com about whether females would rather give up sex or their favorite food for a year.  Spoiler: sex wins.  Thank God…I mean…never mind.  I assume they polled female humans and not nematodes or any other invertebrates.  It does say they asked 4,000 “people” and last I checked nematodes were not considered people unless there is some movement I haven’t heard about.  Lemme google that real quick…shit.  Apparently if they are not considered people yet, they may be soon.

We’re trying to better understand what our two most basic instincts may be – the need to survive and the need to reproduce in the modern context of assured survival and possible over-propagation of the species.  And apparently our best research choices are to study worm brains, or read Glamour magazine.  I guess the result couldn’t be any worse than if you just asked someone.  Once in a College Philosophy class discussion about reality, one of the guys posited “If you can’t chew it or screw it, it ain’t real”.  Yes, yes, we know.  But the question is chew first and screw later, or vice versa?

So our universities are asking the important questions, but are they asking the right…uhh…organisms?  Dunno.  Nobody asked me.  Anyway, I’m hungry.  But there’s something I gotta do first.

One of the conventional wisdoms of the liberal orthodoxy has long been the belief that zealous religious moralists wished to station themselves at your bedroom door and listen for any… *ahem*… unnatural acts occuring inside so that the perpetrators of said acts could be condemned and shamed, if not outright prosecuted and jailed.  Makes perfect sense, right?  It’s the church ladies of the right who demand strict moral adherence to their dogma, especially when talking to the young ‘uns.  You college kids!  Keep it in your pants!  Or keep it out of your pants!  Or keep your pants on!  Or panties!  Or something!  Talk about a buzzkill. Way to ruin Saturday nights.

But that was then.  This is now.

And now The Good Guys are in charge, so maybe we do need a few rules in the bedroom.  For the children.  The California Legislature got right on that.  The Governor got right on that.  Hmmm…maybe poor choice of words.  What I mean is that the Legislature wrote the bill and the Governor signed it.  Now we have the Affirmative Consent Law.  For The Children®.  Or at least the Female children.  The Male children?  Not so much.  We had to do something because of the rape epidemic.  Haven’t you heard?  All sex is rape – check that – all heterosexual sex is rape.  Therefore all men are rapists.  Oh.  No wonder.  Carry on, then.